![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lunacress
Duchamp 100 Baby Challenge
Part One
Time to get posting with this. The Duchamp 100 Baby Challenge. I don’t have any particular set of rules in mind as I start this. Just sort of see where I end up.
My lovely broodmare, Empress Duchamp, and her kitty cat Duchess. And their lovely box house. I’ll add to it as the family grows, but I am not a builder and never will be.
We have been here for literally five minutes. How are you already getting into fights with the local fauna, Duchess?
Empress: So...opinions on busts?
Garden Club Representative: On the whole, I am definitely in the pro camp.
Empress: Fine, I’ll just sit here playing with my pussy while she fondles my rod.
It’s a barre.
Empress: What is?
Two: Damn that is one fine piece of sim.
First eligible walkby and it is a sim by syreni-sims. In my game he is called Two. Because I am super imaginative.
Empress: I could not help but admire the way you were checking me out back there. So...how you doing?
Empress: How do you feel about making out with people you’ve just met? Just...hypothetically?
My girl moves fast.
Empress: Oh, erm. Do you want me to wait inside until you’re done?
Apparently Two got very close to Five (again by syreni-sims) in the brief time they lived together before becoming townies.
Honestly, I’m not even surprised. It wouldn’t be my game without polyamory at every turn.
(I swear there are sims in Kirkby Overblow not made by syreni-sims)
Euterpe: I am the best at friends!
Smooshy face.
Mailbox: *sproing*
Bram: This is who you choose to repopulate the earth? Really? With that face.
Two: Maybe I should do something? Like stand here and watch without expression?
Okay, seriously, why does everyone hate Empress so much?
Euterpe: Should I fetch some baby oil or something?
(and hello there Daikon by yuuzhan. See, I do have sims by other people in my game!)
*bad porno soundtrack plays*
Empress: You my darling are the light of my life. And those are some very fetching underpants.
Duchess: *judgement*
Curie: I don’t care how bomb your ass is, I am not grabbing it!
Curie by furbyq there.
Some Duchess, just because.
Two continues my game’s proud tradition of overbearing partners. You have only two bolts, please control your urges!
*bursts out laughing*
That is cute, dear.
Empress: Why must these people constantly happen?
Turns out pregnancy is not something Ms Duchamp wears well. Sorry, Mirjana, it’s not you. Come back when she’s not full of sprog.
(Mirjana is by yuuzhan)
Mirjana: Who is the prettiest kitty ever? Well, besides me, of course!
Empress: Wait, I want the attention now! I need it. I cannot live without it!
Empress: Hello there boyfriend of my boyfriend. Rose?
Empress: Sweetie, do you mind not standing behind me with like a cardboard cutout? It’s really creepy and I’m just trying to enjoy my sandwich.
Sadly it seems Two is way more into Empress than she is into him. It’ll almost be sad to have to kick him out again once he’s served his purpose.
Empress: Excuse me. I am pregnant!
Empress: Guys? Anyone? Something huge just happened!
Didi by twofee and Mirjana: *flirts*
Who are you and what did you do to Empress?
Pregnancy has changed her.
Another day, another conquest. This time my former hair model Isla.
Empress: It is your fault I am a bloated whale. Don’t even try to touch me.
Two: What the heck?
No idea. She just suddenly went a little feral when he tried to hug her. That’s my girl.
Empress: Look, if I won’t even let my boyfriend touch me, what makes you think I will let you, a stranger, touch my belly?
Dotty: I’m cute?
Most responsible parents to be ever.
Told you that she’d come around, Mirjana.
*even more bad porno music plays*
I think Empress has chosen her second partner already. Which I am fine with. I hope all the kids get Mirjana’s ears.
Two: Damn Empress is sexy.
Erm...
Two: Wait a minute! How dare you cheat on me like that? I am furious!
Mirjana: Oooh, that sunshine feels good.
Enough of that please, time for babies.
Two: Oh my god!
And it is a little girl called Essie, with Empress’s colouring.
Apparently Two and Mirjana decided that now was the best time to fight for Empress’s love.
Empress: I am trying to take care of my child here!
Nephthys by syreni-sims: Oh my gosh, please protect me.
There are going to be way too many kids for me to bother with babies, so Essie grows right up into a rather...interesting looking toddler.
Two: Come on Essie, say ‘Mummy is a cheating harlot.’
Two: I am still angry about everything.
Essie: KIBBLES! IT’S RAINING KIBBLES!
Not even considering taking care of your daughter, are you Empress?
Empress: What? Again?
Dotty: *lurks*
Empress: So, want to be best friends?
Botanist: Is this really how you go about making friends?
Botanist is by charmandersims
Empress: No, you still cannot touch my baby bump. Please stop trying.
Euterpe: Why are you always here?
Empress: Because I live here?
Apparently for these two three bolts translated as low key hatred.
Two: I am so excited for my little girl’s birthday. Yes I am.
Empress: *stands there like she’s made of stone*
Okay she’s getting a makeover in a moment, but just look who grew into her face! Cute little squishy baby!
Here she is, the cutest little munchkin to ever.
Empress: Aww shit.
Duchess: Mmmm, rotten food, my favourite.
Duchess: You are my favourite human. But I will still claw you if you put those lips on me.
Essie: Keep going! Maybe I can make it to an alternate universe where Mummy loves me!
Essie is cute.
Water is wet.
Empress: What the hell is that?
While Two is at work, shenanigans continue. I’m not sure if I’ll let her hook up with any of my own sims, but she’d have the cutest babies with Isla.
Essie’s impression of me playing Sims.
Essie: No you asshole! Eat dinner, don’t go play darts! You deserve to die!
Headmaster: Are they kidding with this?
Shh, the Duchamps are poor and have no skills. Eat it and be glad Empress didn’t somehow manage to burn it.
Empress: Oh, not again.
Really? Your timing is amazing.
*eyetwitch*
Are you kidding me Empress, you super fertile asshole!
Empress: So...this making you want to let my daughter into your school or what?
Luckily it was just twins. Top is Noah, bottom is Nora. Both have black hair and Empress’s eyes.
That is that for now. Next time, more of the same.
no subject
Date: 2015-12-10 11:17 pm (UTC)Mirjana is so cute in your game, the tiger skin suits her well :] And Two is both really adorable and really creepy it is gonna be hard to say goodbye to him indeed. Little Essie is like 20x more adorable though, I love the makeover you gave her! Waiting for new updates to see how her and her siblings grow up and more babies! >:)
no subject
Date: 2015-12-12 06:23 pm (UTC)I have gotten way too attached to Two and Mirjana (who almost lives at the house now, she just never leaves). I'm going to miss everyone who passes through that house I think, especially the kids (or just Essie).